Hubby was in a bad mood over the weekend and I ended up feeling good about it. That’s not as evil as it sounds!
Hubby and I deal with bad moods in different ways. I like the deal with my issues myself; I analyse and weigh up options and, if all else fails, demand cuddles like a puppy. Hubby prefers to nudge me – physically and psychologically – to gently interview him until the root cause is drawn out. I completely understand this, sometimes I need this too. It can be difficult to articulate a bad feeling, especially if it’s something intangible, like a subtle sense of unease.
This weekend has been generally pleasant, but hubby had moments of sudden snappiness or unexpected lectures, so I knew there was something on his mind. Then I played a kind of “sore-spot bingo”, randomly talking about a variety of topical subjects until he finally interrupted, saying “Sit , let’s talk”.
We found the subject area. Check!
The conversation started with concerns about the venue for his upcoming party, but ended with something deeper – a current lack of life purpose. Checkmate.
I was so happy! Not because my husband was unsatisfied, not just because he had identified the feeling and been able to express it. He’s generally pretty good at that.
I was happy that he was able to admit the problem to himself. As a bonus, he had chosen to come to me to explore these thoughts and address them.
My suspicion is that hubby is coming to the end of a bit of a drift zone. Our first few years together were high pressure – lots of fun, travel, excitement and adventures, but also deadlines, arguments, all sorts of battles with bureaucracy, family and overwhelming multitasking feats.
Despite me just changing jobs, this is the most stable our lifestyle has been. Ever. Everything right now is very comfortable. This means that nothing we are doing day to day has any point to it. Yes, we’re saving money to possibly buy a house. Yes, we’re exercising more, but it will take time for results to show. Daily life has finally become so routine and comfortable, the sense of an inevitable deterioration to being dull and boring lingers just around the corner.
Again, I think this is fabulous. We are now in a place where we can really plan for our future without being distracted by more immediate concerns.
So, what can we do that will give both immediate satisfaction and long term purpose?
My first stop on this will be Do-It.org, to find some volunteering options in our area. Teaching English would be ideal, but let’s see what our local area needs the most.
I’ll keep you posted!
Cover Image: Cloud Phunk by A Jain